Our Grandfather Prestage was my spiritual mentor and, bless his heart, took on the task of attempting to secure a place in Heaven for me. Had my family been Catholic, I feel certain he would have purchased candles and what ever would have been needed to get me through the pearly gates. He passed away before we actually discovered Grace. He can rest now. I'll be okay.
Grew up on that farm in Greer County, right outside Mangum. One set of grandparents lived on the farm, Granddad Prestage lived in town. I think I spent more time with grandparents than I ever did with parents. They were much nicer to live with. Parents sometimes said "No". Its been said that I seldom have a story about my youth that includes my parents but consistently talk about my grandparents. Again, ask a child to chose between, no you can't and of course you can and deserve to do so. Its not a fair contest.
When there was a death you did not leave the body at the funeral home. It went home with you and was in the spotlight in the living room, sometime called the "Parlor". Friends would "sit up" with the body. Something that a child had a hard time understanding. For goodness sakes "Why". I now know. Our parents and grandparents knew what "respect" meant. In his never ending quest to teach me, I went with granddad to "sit up". The men smoked their pipes and visited in quiet tones. Oft times this was the only chance they had to sit uninterrupted and visit (never sat up by your self, there were unwritten rules for this Christian duty). Truthfully I don't remember what I did. I just know I was there.
The sitting up had followed the "taking of food". The first thing that a woman would do when someone "passed" was to cook. Then on the day of the funeral women showed up. It must have been a secret society thing because there were always enough women to work in the kitchen and not too many to get in each other's way. I didn't get to go work with the grandmother. One thing the grandparents said no about was missing school. You didn't miss school and you certainly did not miss a Church service. there was not an excuse known to mankind that would keep you from going to church. I know that to be true because I tried every one I could think of and I had an active imagination. The criteria for missing was blood. Not just any blood, flowing blood. Come to think of it, Blood was why we were there.
Years later I made a trip to Mangum to take my grandmother and Aunt Mildred to the funeral service of my grandmother's last sibling. We went to the funeral home the day before the services in the little town of Duke. We walked in and no one was up front but there was a wall of mirrors. My Aunt and Grandmother stood there and had a conversation with the persons in the mirror. Of course it was us. You know one of those you had to be there times. But for years we told that story and laughed. Memories are made of fragile moments that we are blessed to be part of.
Weddings signify a new beginning. The last one I attended joined two young souls who had their grandparents and great grand parents in attendance. All members of the Lord's Church. At the reception there were pictures on display of weddings of several generations. One of the grandfathers conducted the service. One day when they have raised their children and spoiled their grandchildren and babysat their great grandchildren, they will remember what a beginning they had and what they have come from. I know this young couple and their families well, so I suspect that they already have a clue.
At services on Easter morning our minister said you can't have Easter without a death. Easter is the resurrection. I think the wedding was the living, the funeral the death and we will experience the resurrection, so it fits. Today, I experienced that entire cycle, I attended a funeral of a lady who I went to school and graduated with. We married the same year. She has now been a part of what I am still missing. She knows the resurrection first hand.
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