By a small white German Schnauzer. Mornings now belong to Daisy. Routine has set in. I no longer just get to have my coffee and read what news I care to read on the computer. Between clicks to see how things are going on the coast and, though I swore to not get involved, in seeing how the Texas Rangers did, I am at the mercy of a 15 pound creature. She brings me one of her toys and lays at my feet, biting it where the squeeker is so that it makes the most irritating noise on earth. The most urgent thing on her mind is having me get the toy and proceed to throw it down the hallway so that she can get it and bring it back. She stops long enough to go to her box and maybe change toys. Her biggest decision of the day is which one to chose and who can know why she choses one over the other.
Sometimes she has the attention span of a mite (not that I know how long that was measured or by whom, but it sounds very small); other times she is tenacious and will stand for what must seem like hours to her, but actually it is only minutes, looking up into the tree in our neighbors yard. She once went outside as a squirrel ran along the top of our fence and jumped into that huge oak. She is convinced it is still there. Each time she goes out she takes her stand and looks upward into that tree. I feel safe knowing she is protecting us.
Something in her mind snaps and she wants me to make yet another trip with her, down the hallway, to stand outside the bedroom where Mate lies sleeping. She looks mournfully under the door while making a wailing sound. She wants her best friend to get up. She wants to play "Where's Daisy" while we make the bed. She now waits for us to hold up the sheet so that she can "hide" under it. She lays spread eagle on her stomach and watches Mate perform his morning ritual of brushing teeth, combing what hairs are left and washing his face. All the while talking to him about what their plans for the day should be. She will not leave his side for long at a time for the rest of the day,only going outside, but wishing him to go with her. He usually goes.
Good grief. It this were a television show now the sound of a needle scratching across a record would be heard and the narrator would say, "What am I thinking!!!!. We have to get a life".
You know before we rescued Daisy, I thought we had a life. For a couple in their 70s we are pretty active. Mate can't do what he used to do because of health reasons, but he volunteers for several things. I go to work every day and do pretty much what I always did at work, except I don't climb up on the ladder to retrieve a file like I did for years (somehow you become aware that when older persons fall there is usually a knee or hip replacement in the future). We go out to eat all the time with good friends, we go to plays and concerts. I am pretty active on Facebook and Mate texts with son and grandson. Unlike what you may have thought from watching him drive, HE DOES NOT TEXT while driving. (I just had to stick that in, I think the Devil made me do it) He is very good on the Mac and can do anything we need to do using technology we didn't know would exist 10 years ago. We spend a lot of time at the Church building, and we relish an evening at home from time to time because frankly we don't stay at home a lot in the evening.
Wait Just A Minute (as Jimmy Durante used to say)we do have a life, Daisy has just enhanced it. Oh thank goodness.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
From An Email to 15 People
Today, our hearts are heavy and Jim and I want to share a family's story with you.
On August 14, 2009, a good friend, Bruce Stanford sent me a forwarded email. Bruce was always sending me forwards. One was an email from a mother in Westerville, Ohio, that for some reason touched my heart. She has a son 8 years old at the time and he had just been diagnosed with osteoscarcoma. Osteo as families fighting always call it, is one of the most deadly of cancers occurring most often in teens. Seldom survivable if it has spread to the lungs, but can be conquered if all things are just right. It attacks the bones usually in the limbs.
Cindy Bish was a desperate mother; she did what all mothers who are cornered do, she fought with the only weapon she had. A belief in the Lord God Almighty. She sent out a simple email to 15 friends asking for prayers and asking that they pass it on. She pulled her congregation together, she organized prayer groups and she begged for those of us who had gotten the email to pray fervently, A mother cannot diagnoses, cannot treat, cannot perform surgery. She can be there and she can beg. I saw this same determination once before up close and, as they say, in living color, when our daughter in law was determined that cancer would not take her sweet daughter, Annde. She held that baby as the doctors did spinal taps; she held her as they did bone marrow tests; she, along with the help of so many your prayers, and with God's will, won that battle.
With those 15 persons, the email was sent to others and on and on and on. It went around the world. Posted on the Caring Bridge site are 399,000 plus messages for the Bish family from every state and from Australia to Canada and from Japan to England.
I was sceptical at first but checked it out with the Church mentioned, Westerville Christian Church (formerly Westerville Church of Christ) It was obvious that this was genuine. She had called on her fellow Christians for help. She had no hesitation in doing that. She was at war. She created a web site in Caring Bridge which I will post on the bottom of this and invite you to go in and send a message with a prayer in your heart for this fine family. It was through this congregation that I first heard about doing a prayer in the yard and if you go to that web site and look at the pictures you can see the members surrounding the Bish home.
The day finally came when they had a big decision to make. Do they authorize an amputation of Sam's leg or not. They were sent the name of a doctor at MD Anderson in Houston and arrangements were made to fly there with Sam.
In case you wonder if people are still caring in this world, let me tell you about a family in Houston. Never met the Bish family but like Jim and I had followed along on Caring Bridge because someone had sent them the Mother's email. The Houston family contacted the doctor in Ohio, made the flight arrangements for Mike, Cindy and Sam, paid for the tickets, met them at the plane, kept them at their home, took them to eat real Tex Mex food and drove them everywhere they needed to be staying with them through the testing at MD Anderson. This did not cost the Bish family a penny. They even sent Texas presents home for the two little girls, Caitlin and Aubrey. Pictures of this fine family are also on the site.
Decision was made for amputation. Sports teams visited Sam in the hospital. His story has been on TV in Ohio many times. ....... spots were discovered in the lungs.
Never giving up, they got ready for lung surgery not long after the amputation. Many nodules were discovered, many removed. The outlook was good. There would be one more round of chemo, it looked as if they were winning the battle.
The Bish family prepared for a trip to, you know.......... DisneyWorld in Orlando. Make a Wish foundation had stepped in. They went just a week or so ago and were scheduled for five more days in the hospital beginning today for the last round of chemo. They were dreading it but again it was part of the battle plan. I cut and paste a paragraph from the posting on Caring Bridge this afternoon.
"It is with a very heavy heart that I write this journal entry. Sam is at home tonight. He was admitted this morning and was taken down for a CT scan first thing. Sam's doctors pulled me over to the side (away from Sam) and told me that the CT scan showed a relapse of cancer in Sam's lungs. Several nodules have shown up in both of Sam's lungs ( I do not have an exact number...ju
Please make a trip to Sam's Caring Bridge page and post a comment as you say a little prayer to the Father for Sam and Cindy, Mike, Caitlin and Aubrey. As Christians, its what we do,
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sambish/journal?jid=5826121
On August 14, 2009, a good friend, Bruce Stanford sent me a forwarded email. Bruce was always sending me forwards. One was an email from a mother in Westerville, Ohio, that for some reason touched my heart. She has a son 8 years old at the time and he had just been diagnosed with osteoscarcoma. Osteo as families fighting always call it, is one of the most deadly of cancers occurring most often in teens. Seldom survivable if it has spread to the lungs, but can be conquered if all things are just right. It attacks the bones usually in the limbs.
Cindy Bish was a desperate mother; she did what all mothers who are cornered do, she fought with the only weapon she had. A belief in the Lord God Almighty. She sent out a simple email to 15 friends asking for prayers and asking that they pass it on. She pulled her congregation together, she organized prayer groups and she begged for those of us who had gotten the email to pray fervently, A mother cannot diagnoses, cannot treat, cannot perform surgery. She can be there and she can beg. I saw this same determination once before up close and, as they say, in living color, when our daughter in law was determined that cancer would not take her sweet daughter, Annde. She held that baby as the doctors did spinal taps; she held her as they did bone marrow tests; she, along with the help of so many your prayers, and with God's will, won that battle.
With those 15 persons, the email was sent to others and on and on and on. It went around the world. Posted on the Caring Bridge site are 399,000 plus messages for the Bish family from every state and from Australia to Canada and from Japan to England.
I was sceptical at first but checked it out with the Church mentioned, Westerville Christian Church (formerly Westerville Church of Christ) It was obvious that this was genuine. She had called on her fellow Christians for help. She had no hesitation in doing that. She was at war. She created a web site in Caring Bridge which I will post on the bottom of this and invite you to go in and send a message with a prayer in your heart for this fine family. It was through this congregation that I first heard about doing a prayer in the yard and if you go to that web site and look at the pictures you can see the members surrounding the Bish home.
The day finally came when they had a big decision to make. Do they authorize an amputation of Sam's leg or not. They were sent the name of a doctor at MD Anderson in Houston and arrangements were made to fly there with Sam.
In case you wonder if people are still caring in this world, let me tell you about a family in Houston. Never met the Bish family but like Jim and I had followed along on Caring Bridge because someone had sent them the Mother's email. The Houston family contacted the doctor in Ohio, made the flight arrangements for Mike, Cindy and Sam, paid for the tickets, met them at the plane, kept them at their home, took them to eat real Tex Mex food and drove them everywhere they needed to be staying with them through the testing at MD Anderson. This did not cost the Bish family a penny. They even sent Texas presents home for the two little girls, Caitlin and Aubrey. Pictures of this fine family are also on the site.
Decision was made for amputation. Sports teams visited Sam in the hospital. His story has been on TV in Ohio many times. ....... spots were discovered in the lungs.
Never giving up, they got ready for lung surgery not long after the amputation. Many nodules were discovered, many removed. The outlook was good. There would be one more round of chemo, it looked as if they were winning the battle.
The Bish family prepared for a trip to, you know.......... DisneyWorld in Orlando. Make a Wish foundation had stepped in. They went just a week or so ago and were scheduled for five more days in the hospital beginning today for the last round of chemo. They were dreading it but again it was part of the battle plan. I cut and paste a paragraph from the posting on Caring Bridge this afternoon.
"It is with a very heavy heart that I write this journal entry. Sam is at home tonight. He was admitted this morning and was taken down for a CT scan first thing. Sam's doctors pulled me over to the side (away from Sam) and told me that the CT scan showed a relapse of cancer in Sam's lungs. Several nodules have shown up in both of Sam's lungs ( I do not have an exact number...ju
Please make a trip to Sam's Caring Bridge page and post a comment as you say a little prayer to the Father for Sam and Cindy, Mike, Caitlin and Aubrey. As Christians, its what we do,
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sambish/journal?jid=5826121
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Til Death Us Do Part
July 3, 1953 at approximately 5 in the afternoon, we became Mate and Mate. (The only wedding picture. We were on the run) What a long time ago; What a lot has happened; What were we thinking??
To take those points one at a time: WHAT A LONG TIME AGO. Yes it was.
WHAT A LOT HAS HAPPENED: Yes it has. WHAT WERE WE THINKING: Who could possibly know. I am not sure either one of us knew how to think at that stage of our lives. If we had been where we were say 30 or 40 years later or even today, and we sat down and thought it through, I promise we would not have run away and said "I do". We would have said something like "Are you kidnin me" (kidnin being our granddaughter's way of saying kidding).
Sometime God just takes over and blesses you even if you haven't asked for it and even if you don't deserve it and even if you don't realize He has done it.
We had rough times in the early years. We didn't particularly like each other from time to time. We didn't have money to go out and "enjoy" ourselves or sometimes not enough to know if we would make it through the week. We were selfish, never having been taught to put another person's wants and needs above our own. We were not patient; we were not kind; we were not always forgiving; we were not mature; and we did not understand God's will on how to deal with one another. If we analyze closely we had very little in common. So there is no way we would still be married today. OOOPS, We are! We celebrate 57 years together as husband and wife. Tonight after having eaten out with friends, which we do every Friday night, we will get each other a card, (quit buying gifts years ago); we will play with the Daisy the new dog; we will kiss each other good night; and say "I love you". Other than the card and the Daisy Dog, we have done that for probably 30 years.. The kissing and saying "I love you" we have done almost every night for 57 years.
(this looks a lot like our family........well at least the dog is named Daisy. Jim never wore a bow tie and my hair was never that blond and neither was Kays, and Jimbo, well maybe he did sort of look like Alexander)
We have been asked the secret for staying married so many years. Its simple but not easy. For the first 10 years we didn't know we had a choice; For the next 30 years we were busy with family (daughter Kay, son Jimbo, grand kids), with jobs and with living in general; For the next 10 years we realized that it is just too much trouble to not stay married; and, for the last 7 years we are just too tired. So there you have it in a nut shell. How to stay married for 57 years.
If you had asked us if we would do it all over again.............. during the first 10 years we would have said "let us get back to you on that". The next 30 years we would have said "Yes". The next ten years we would have told you "We did good ". The last 7 years we would have said "do what over?"
I guess that every period of time had its rewards; however, we have to think long and hard to remember what that could have been the first 10 years. A series of horrid apartments, fussing when we didn't get our way, being too short sighted to see more than 15 minutes ahead, but still in that period of new love almost every problem could be solved by an argument and making up.
The next 30 years: In 1960 we bought a house. The nicest thing we had ever lived in. Plain and simple, no air conditioning, no central heat, horrible heater in the hall that burned you up when you stood in the hall and froze you in any other part of the house, one bathroom, 963 square feet. $8,750.00. Payments $68.00 a month, including taxes and insurance, all we had to do was catch 2 up. We didn't have that kind of money. But my sweet grandmother did. For the first time in our lives we were in debt. Our mortgage was for 20 years, our interest rate was 4 %. Had we not decided to move to Lake Palestine in East Texas we would still live there, looking out our front door into the back yard of Beverly and Milton Colley.
Mate was a builder. We always planned to build a showcase home. Every time new plots of land would open up we would look at house plans. We would buy an extra lot. We would sit and think about our neighbors, the fact that our kids knew everyone in the Addition. We felt safe and loved and happy where we were. Some things are just more important than big houses. Then we would add a room, add a swimming pool, or add a new patio. Never did put in another bathroom. When we sold the house it had doubled in size, we had a pool, very little yard to care for and we still had the same neighbors.
Milton Colley always had a project. Either digging a storm cellar, or closing in the garage, or building a camper. Each evening we would have dinner, get lawn chairs, a glass of tea and journey across the street, sit in the shade and watch Milton work. Some evenings if there were no project going we played fierce badminton. All the kids played either Boys Club Basketball or football, the men coached and we all went to all the games. Even if your kid wasn't playing. It was a wonderful time.
We lived in that house for over 30 years and made our sweetest memories there.
1990 we left for Lake Palestine, Then in 2000 we came back home to Wichita Falls. I wish we could have gone back to Dunbar and how it was. Great American author, Thomas Wolfe, last novel "You Can't Go Home Again" is true.
So here we live and fortunately we have wonderful neighbors, but it can, of course, never be the same again.
The next 10 years we discovered the comfort of knowing each other well. Overlooking things like he can't find anything if it is covered up, that I never close a cabinet or drawer completely; he would rather stay home than eat out but does because it makes me happy. He pays the check even if I ordered iced tea. I wait til the last minute to do something, he does it as soon as it can be done. I finish his sentence which irritates him, but not so much any more. Its comfort.
(the Christmas picture below is our entire family 2009 in California, missing first grandson, Cole, stuck up north by weather)
Then of course the last 7 years have been the "ignore any problem that comes our way" years. We tend to forget any bad thing that happens. If you irritate either one of us today, we will have forgotten it by evening. We still go out to eat way more often than we eat at home, but I don't always order iced tea. We have friends we enjoy and who we can count on and who we love like family. We still disagree on most non important things. The best thing that has happened to us is that we have learned to pray aloud together. It was not always so.
(picture is probably 9 or 10 year old Church Directory. Oh so much nicer than the latest one, so we will ignore the recent one and pretend we still look this good. Its the least we can do after 57 years and it makes us feel better)
We still kiss each other good night and say I love you and maybe sometime we mean it more than we ever did. So Happy Anniversary to my Mate and may God Bless us for the time we have left together.
To take those points one at a time: WHAT A LONG TIME AGO. Yes it was.
WHAT A LOT HAS HAPPENED: Yes it has. WHAT WERE WE THINKING: Who could possibly know. I am not sure either one of us knew how to think at that stage of our lives. If we had been where we were say 30 or 40 years later or even today, and we sat down and thought it through, I promise we would not have run away and said "I do". We would have said something like "Are you kidnin me" (kidnin being our granddaughter's way of saying kidding).
Sometime God just takes over and blesses you even if you haven't asked for it and even if you don't deserve it and even if you don't realize He has done it.
We had rough times in the early years. We didn't particularly like each other from time to time. We didn't have money to go out and "enjoy" ourselves or sometimes not enough to know if we would make it through the week. We were selfish, never having been taught to put another person's wants and needs above our own. We were not patient; we were not kind; we were not always forgiving; we were not mature; and we did not understand God's will on how to deal with one another. If we analyze closely we had very little in common. So there is no way we would still be married today. OOOPS, We are! We celebrate 57 years together as husband and wife. Tonight after having eaten out with friends, which we do every Friday night, we will get each other a card, (quit buying gifts years ago); we will play with the Daisy the new dog; we will kiss each other good night; and say "I love you". Other than the card and the Daisy Dog, we have done that for probably 30 years.. The kissing and saying "I love you" we have done almost every night for 57 years.
(this looks a lot like our family........well at least the dog is named Daisy. Jim never wore a bow tie and my hair was never that blond and neither was Kays, and Jimbo, well maybe he did sort of look like Alexander)We have been asked the secret for staying married so many years. Its simple but not easy. For the first 10 years we didn't know we had a choice; For the next 30 years we were busy with family (daughter Kay, son Jimbo, grand kids), with jobs and with living in general; For the next 10 years we realized that it is just too much trouble to not stay married; and, for the last 7 years we are just too tired. So there you have it in a nut shell. How to stay married for 57 years.
If you had asked us if we would do it all over again.............. during the first 10 years we would have said "let us get back to you on that". The next 30 years we would have said "Yes". The next ten years we would have told you "We did good ". The last 7 years we would have said "do what over?"
I guess that every period of time had its rewards; however, we have to think long and hard to remember what that could have been the first 10 years. A series of horrid apartments, fussing when we didn't get our way, being too short sighted to see more than 15 minutes ahead, but still in that period of new love almost every problem could be solved by an argument and making up.
The next 30 years: In 1960 we bought a house. The nicest thing we had ever lived in. Plain and simple, no air conditioning, no central heat, horrible heater in the hall that burned you up when you stood in the hall and froze you in any other part of the house, one bathroom, 963 square feet. $8,750.00. Payments $68.00 a month, including taxes and insurance, all we had to do was catch 2 up. We didn't have that kind of money. But my sweet grandmother did. For the first time in our lives we were in debt. Our mortgage was for 20 years, our interest rate was 4 %. Had we not decided to move to Lake Palestine in East Texas we would still live there, looking out our front door into the back yard of Beverly and Milton Colley.
Mate was a builder. We always planned to build a showcase home. Every time new plots of land would open up we would look at house plans. We would buy an extra lot. We would sit and think about our neighbors, the fact that our kids knew everyone in the Addition. We felt safe and loved and happy where we were. Some things are just more important than big houses. Then we would add a room, add a swimming pool, or add a new patio. Never did put in another bathroom. When we sold the house it had doubled in size, we had a pool, very little yard to care for and we still had the same neighbors.
(this picture in the Colley garage at Halloween probably 40 years ago)
Milton Colley always had a project. Either digging a storm cellar, or closing in the garage, or building a camper. Each evening we would have dinner, get lawn chairs, a glass of tea and journey across the street, sit in the shade and watch Milton work. Some evenings if there were no project going we played fierce badminton. All the kids played either Boys Club Basketball or football, the men coached and we all went to all the games. Even if your kid wasn't playing. It was a wonderful time.We lived in that house for over 30 years and made our sweetest memories there.
1990 we left for Lake Palestine, Then in 2000 we came back home to Wichita Falls. I wish we could have gone back to Dunbar and how it was. Great American author, Thomas Wolfe, last novel "You Can't Go Home Again" is true.
So here we live and fortunately we have wonderful neighbors, but it can, of course, never be the same again.
The next 10 years we discovered the comfort of knowing each other well. Overlooking things like he can't find anything if it is covered up, that I never close a cabinet or drawer completely; he would rather stay home than eat out but does because it makes me happy. He pays the check even if I ordered iced tea. I wait til the last minute to do something, he does it as soon as it can be done. I finish his sentence which irritates him, but not so much any more. Its comfort.
(the Christmas picture below is our entire family 2009 in California, missing first grandson, Cole, stuck up north by weather)
Then of course the last 7 years have been the "ignore any problem that comes our way" years. We tend to forget any bad thing that happens. If you irritate either one of us today, we will have forgotten it by evening. We still go out to eat way more often than we eat at home, but I don't always order iced tea. We have friends we enjoy and who we can count on and who we love like family. We still disagree on most non important things. The best thing that has happened to us is that we have learned to pray aloud together. It was not always so.(picture is probably 9 or 10 year old Church Directory. Oh so much nicer than the latest one, so we will ignore the recent one and pretend we still look this good. Its the least we can do after 57 years and it makes us feel better)
We still kiss each other good night and say I love you and maybe sometime we mean it more than we ever did. So Happy Anniversary to my Mate and may God Bless us for the time we have left together.I did forget the most important thing. WE DO KNOW THE SECRET to a successful 57 years of marriage. It took a while but along about the 30th year we finally learned to let God take control.
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