It's Theron's Fault

You know I don't like change. In fact I am opposed to it. I tend to keep things for a long time and when I give them up, I borrow a line from cheating celebrities and politicians...."It wasn't my fault". Of course in my case that's correct. Let me give you a few examples. I changed hairdressers because she moved to another place. (admittedly it was Heaven but not my fault); I changed the color of my hair when they dropped the color I had used for years; I don't have the same lipstick (one that actually stayed on) anymore because McClurkan's went out of business and you can't find it in the USA; I changed doctors a few times because they too went to Heaven. I changed cars because it just died but I don't for a moment believe it went to Heaven. I changed from DelMonte Spinach to Popeye Brand because, well because I like Popeye's better (so there is one thing that was my fault).

We lived in the same house for over 30 years and only moved when we decided we wanted to live on a Lake and moved to East Texas. Lake Palestine to be exact. I liked it, met some wonderful people who are still friends, but it never seemed like home. Ten years later we moved back.

I have of course had the same husband and children and grandchildren for years and years. I even have had the same Sister for, well in deference to her, I won't say for how many years, If you have followed me along you know that I have the same shower curtain in my bathroom that I have had since 1995. Oh its not the same one, but its identical to the one we put up in East Texas. I found that I still like it so I don't see a reason to change.

Then of course there is this purse that I am on my 4th year with and even though it is basically a fall and winter purse, I carry it year round cause I like it.

I am thinking it was around 1980, I would have been in my early 40s. I was in pretty good shape, my skin was soft and supple. I didn't have neck waddles. I didn't need an eye lift. I wore a size 8 or 10. Exactly where I should be. Never a raving beauty, but children did not cry when they saw me. I could get out of a chair without making those old folk noises, in other words, while not exactly a "Babe", I was okay. I decided I needed a little help reading. Two people in my church were optometrist. Actually they practiced together. Chose Theron. He said I didn't need glasses. Good enough for me. I went back two or three years later. You will remember that I am not too good on time, Mate would be able to tell you the first time he went to see Theron and what time of day his appointment was. I just know it was sometime between 1980 and 1990, which is close enough for me.

Theron agreed i needed a wee bit of help and I got a really cute pair of"Granny Glasses". Little gold rims and I wore them only to read. I loved those glasses. Something happens when you wear them only for what ever reason. You began to need them. And so started my long relationship with Theron and glasses.

This was before computers and Theron basically checked the eyes with a cardboard sheet that you read from and a instrument he pulled in front of you and clicked manually where the eye changed and the lettering changed. Our conversation during this exam was: Theron, "Tell me which one is better, this one or this one". Me, "Show me one more time". It seemed like such a heavy decision to make. But I would leave with a new prescription and frame chosen with help from Vollie (who he conveniently married I think partly because she made some great suggestions about the type of frame I needed).

So since you have stayed with me this long I am going to tell you what is Theron's fault and why I am certain he is to blame for many things which I will also tell you about. Assuming my time line is from 1980 through 2004 when Theron thoughtless retired, I never one time walked out of that office with a pair of glasses I didn't love. Twenty-four years, a perfect record. I never one time ever went back to even get a frame adjusted. When we moved to East Texas, I drove back to Wichita Falls to get my eyes examined. I don't like change and especially changing from something that works perfectly.

Then he closed the door and took Vollie home with him.

Since then I have had to go to a different eye doctor. He has fancy computers in dozens of rooms. they dilate my eyes (Theron never did that) They shine horribly bright lights in my eyes (Theron never did that). They send me to yet another doctor who comes once a month who now puts a needle in my eye and gives me a shot once a month. (Theron never did that)

Now I truly don't blame Theron for all of that but here is what I do blame him for. I now have waddles on my neck. I have wrinkles in my skin and its so rough. I had to have an eye lift because my eyes drooped, I no longer wear a size 8 or 10 and you would not believe the noises I make when I get out of a chair. I can't get down in the floor and get back up without making my way to something I can hold on to. Worse yet I have not been satisfied with a pair of glasses since he retired and took Vollie home. I read with glasses and a magnifying glass.

After careful analysis, the one thing I can tie this to is 2004 when Theron retired.